What the Hell are you?

I was thinking about all the stupid shit bike messengers wear and how super Gay they look or should I say Uni-a-sexual they look. Because lets face it you can’t tell the guys from the chic’s……and then I thought Men wear a lot of stupid shit!

Here a little list to help you out!

1. Bucket hats. Your not in the Serengeti
2. Visors.
3. Sideways visors.
4. Sideways baseball caps.
5. Headbands.
6. Mullets (the haircut).
7. Mullets (a type of fresh-water fish typically used for bait).
8. Hair that has been manipulated for an hour to achieve the desired "tousled" look.
9. Enough hair on the back of your neck to indicate that it's time for a haircut.
10. Shoulder-length perms.
11. Ponytails.
12. Comb-overs.
13. Nehru jackets.
14. Short-sleeved dress shirts with ties.
15. Band-collared shirts.
16. Tee shirts with oh-so-humorous messages on them.
17. Tee shirts with oh-so-offensive messages on them.
18. Tee shirts that expose one's midriff, intentional or otherwise.
19. Polo shirts with the collar turned up.
20. Any article of clothing at all with the collar turned up.
21. Sheer shirts.
22. Sheer pants.
23. Spiked collars.
24. Speedo bikinis.
25. Thong bikini underwear.
26. Any pair of underwear that features a depiction of an elephant or Pinocchio on its frontal side so as to imply that the wearer's penis is akin to an elephant's trunk or the magically-expanding nose of a wooden puppet.
27. Any underwear that, in the event it must be exposed in the process of getting undressed to have sex, will immediately cause your sexual partner to put their clothes back on.
28. Unibrows.
29. Tie-dyed anything.
30. Turtlenecks with double-breasted suits, Staten Island notwithstanding.
31. Brightly colored weightlifting pants.
32. All other weightlifting pants.
33. Jeans with elastic waists.
34. Bell-bottomed jeans.
35. Acid-washed jeans.
36. Jeans so loose you can see your underwear.
37. Jeans so tight you can see your underwear.
38. Shorts so short you'd better be wearing underwear.
39. Shorts so long they might as well be highwaters.
40. Highwaters.
41. Knickers.
42. Jodhpurs.
43. Capri pants.
44. One pant leg rolled up, the other not.
45. Black jeans with white sneakers.
46. Black socks with white sneakers.
47. Sneakers with suits48. Knee-high white socks with shorts.
49. Knee-high black socks with shorts.
50. Socks with sandals.
51. White athletic socks with dress shoes.
52. Slides.
53. Mules.
54. Platform shoes if you're over thirty.
55. Platform shoes if you're under thirty.
56. Fanny packs.
57. Chest hair so abundant it looks like you're wearing your sweater UNDER your shirt.
58. Enough cologne to have passersby notice you're wearing cologne.
59. Clothes with brand logos large enough to be read by the elderly.
60. Nail polish of any kind.
61. A pinkie ring.
62. A college ring.
63. A nipple ring.
64. A nose ring.
65. More than one ring.
66. Dangling earrings.
67. College apparel from a school you didn't attend.
68. Kilts.
69. Anything with sequins.
70. Anything with feathers.
71. Anything with sequins AND feathers.
72. Monocles.
73. Logo watches.
74. Calculator watches.
75. Mickey Mouse watches.
76. Mickey Mouse ANYTHING.
77. For that matter, anything with a cartoon character on it, Disney or otherwise.
78. Clothes with team logos outside a stadium.
79. Kelly green.
80. Hot pink.
81. Photojournalist vests, unless on assignment in Chechnya.
82. Long nose hair.
83. Long ear hair.
84. Any ear hair.
85. Clothing acquired through the consumption of several hundred packs of cigarettes.
86. Novelty neckties.
87. Bow ties if you're under forty (except with Tuxes).
88. Bolo ties.
89.Cowboy boots over pants.
90. Cowboy hats.
91. Cowboy boots and cowboy hats with suits.
92. Clip-on ties.
93. Clip-on suspenders.
94. Amusing patterned suspenders.
95. Suspenders with belts.
96. Paints without belts.
97. "Kiss Me, I'm _________" (Insert Nationality Here).
98. Pocket protectors.
99. Enough pens and pencils in your pocket to warrant a pocket protector.
100. Members Only jackets.
101. Sweaters worn over your shoulders, I don’t care if you live on the Upper East Side Biff!
102. Crocs……
103. Painters pants (unless you are a painter)
104. Carpenter pants (unless you are a carpenter)
105. Doo Rags
106. Anything on your head at the dinner table (even if it’s at Denny’s you slug)
107. Sunglasses inside Mr Johnson!