Round and round

Only in.......
Can you get a way with driving junk like this........
and this.......
Can you get Dub's with spinners for one of those???

A new High in Low

Nautica??? David Chu started the company, Nautica, proceeded to build an empire based on all things attached to the sailing mentality…….So WTF, a minivan? I know it’s a boat but com-on! Its must be a lefty thing b/c I don’t get it! Maybe 25% of every Nautica minivan go’s to the DNC….Do you have to wear your Nautica windbreaker when driving your every Nautica minivan??? Now that would be too Cool.

O-yea in typical Minivan driving skills this douche bag cut me off 20sec.s before this picture.

Somthing??

Yea Know I got Nut-n…….I could talk about Riding up the Doc trail. I could bitch about it…..But you never know how steep something is until you try to ride up it……I could talk about Cross….I could bitch about Dope-n or maybe even the weather…..But I won’t and just go have another cup of JOE! And count the Cal’s I ate today!

What’s up???

I find something’s Very funny……I step on the scale the other day (something I’ve not done in weeks) thinking I was going to make that baby spin off its axis……Boom 149lb on the head! Man o man, I can’t even buy pants in the men’s department anymore. The store by me only carry 30’s and I need 29’s…………Now my waste matches the wheels I ride! How sweet is that you big fat fatty?

I almost forgot…..found a sweet new trail over Red Mountain. Now my wheels don’t have to touch pavement when I head over for a little sip of Espresso. Speaking of that! I think it’s what the doctor order…….Hit IT!

My new coffer jug!

Next to talk on the cell'y and taking pic's well driving.......text'g is right in there as my fav past time!

Going in a short circuit………

There's nothing more dumbass looking than a guy in a Hawaiian shirt.........Hawaiian prints should only be on a sarong or a bikini. It's a fat guys shirt .Fat guys wear Hawaiian shirts because as it provides some visual distortion. A T-shirt with something in the center of it, or a uniform shirt color, impacts the eye in a way that says, "Wow, look how it's just red and red and red and it seems to go on forever, uninterrupted. HE is a fat, fat guy." So I guess the Hawaiian shirt id a good thing for the fat guy…….but still Dumbass for the fly weight guy!!!!

Ran up the Doc Trail last night running sucks but racing up hill really sucks…..well I better get back to nailing my roof down to keep it dry at the Lasy “MM” ranch…..

Could be the new boss!!!!!

What's your favorite image of Al Gore? Maybe it's Gore standing ramrod straight at a presidential debate, or lecturing about global warming in the documentary or maybe it’s the fact he invented the inter-net that allows me to blog like some kind of first grader with a pant-load………..But this has to be the cherry on the Sunday! Mr Gore is buzzing around bitching about “Carbon Offsets” (whatever that is) and 1 degree differentials in this…….

I just wonder if this baby runs on Soy Beans? This guy blows more CO2 gas in one min then I will in a life time……What a DICK!

Switching Gears.....

It must be it can't be.......IT IS!!!

Star and Stripes

Gets nailed in Wisco.......NICE! I guest they've got nothing else to do!!!!1

Bam.......Nailed One!

This just in.........

I’m No.1, I say number No. 1 in the Google for “smokn dope”

and No. 4 in “jonathan vaughters is a prick”

and No.8 in "Drunk'n People"

Somedays your just a WINNER! but man I'm on it today!

I've got it now.....

My troubles are now over!!!! Wait a min.........I don't have a VHS player, SHIT! Back to the poor house.....

What the Hell are you?

I was thinking about all the stupid shit bike messengers wear and how super Gay they look or should I say Uni-a-sexual they look. Because lets face it you can’t tell the guys from the chic’s……and then I thought Men wear a lot of stupid shit!

Here a little list to help you out!

1. Bucket hats. Your not in the Serengeti
2. Visors.
3. Sideways visors.
4. Sideways baseball caps.
5. Headbands.
6. Mullets (the haircut).
7. Mullets (a type of fresh-water fish typically used for bait).
8. Hair that has been manipulated for an hour to achieve the desired "tousled" look.
9. Enough hair on the back of your neck to indicate that it's time for a haircut.
10. Shoulder-length perms.
11. Ponytails.
12. Comb-overs.
13. Nehru jackets.
14. Short-sleeved dress shirts with ties.
15. Band-collared shirts.
16. Tee shirts with oh-so-humorous messages on them.
17. Tee shirts with oh-so-offensive messages on them.
18. Tee shirts that expose one's midriff, intentional or otherwise.
19. Polo shirts with the collar turned up.
20. Any article of clothing at all with the collar turned up.
21. Sheer shirts.
22. Sheer pants.
23. Spiked collars.
24. Speedo bikinis.
25. Thong bikini underwear.
26. Any pair of underwear that features a depiction of an elephant or Pinocchio on its frontal side so as to imply that the wearer's penis is akin to an elephant's trunk or the magically-expanding nose of a wooden puppet.
27. Any underwear that, in the event it must be exposed in the process of getting undressed to have sex, will immediately cause your sexual partner to put their clothes back on.
28. Unibrows.
29. Tie-dyed anything.
30. Turtlenecks with double-breasted suits, Staten Island notwithstanding.
31. Brightly colored weightlifting pants.
32. All other weightlifting pants.
33. Jeans with elastic waists.
34. Bell-bottomed jeans.
35. Acid-washed jeans.
36. Jeans so loose you can see your underwear.
37. Jeans so tight you can see your underwear.
38. Shorts so short you'd better be wearing underwear.
39. Shorts so long they might as well be highwaters.
40. Highwaters.
41. Knickers.
42. Jodhpurs.
43. Capri pants.
44. One pant leg rolled up, the other not.
45. Black jeans with white sneakers.
46. Black socks with white sneakers.
47. Sneakers with suits48. Knee-high white socks with shorts.
49. Knee-high black socks with shorts.
50. Socks with sandals.
51. White athletic socks with dress shoes.
52. Slides.
53. Mules.
54. Platform shoes if you're over thirty.
55. Platform shoes if you're under thirty.
56. Fanny packs.
57. Chest hair so abundant it looks like you're wearing your sweater UNDER your shirt.
58. Enough cologne to have passersby notice you're wearing cologne.
59. Clothes with brand logos large enough to be read by the elderly.
60. Nail polish of any kind.
61. A pinkie ring.
62. A college ring.
63. A nipple ring.
64. A nose ring.
65. More than one ring.
66. Dangling earrings.
67. College apparel from a school you didn't attend.
68. Kilts.
69. Anything with sequins.
70. Anything with feathers.
71. Anything with sequins AND feathers.
72. Monocles.
73. Logo watches.
74. Calculator watches.
75. Mickey Mouse watches.
76. Mickey Mouse ANYTHING.
77. For that matter, anything with a cartoon character on it, Disney or otherwise.
78. Clothes with team logos outside a stadium.
79. Kelly green.
80. Hot pink.
81. Photojournalist vests, unless on assignment in Chechnya.
82. Long nose hair.
83. Long ear hair.
84. Any ear hair.
85. Clothing acquired through the consumption of several hundred packs of cigarettes.
86. Novelty neckties.
87. Bow ties if you're under forty (except with Tuxes).
88. Bolo ties.
89.Cowboy boots over pants.
90. Cowboy hats.
91. Cowboy boots and cowboy hats with suits.
92. Clip-on ties.
93. Clip-on suspenders.
94. Amusing patterned suspenders.
95. Suspenders with belts.
96. Paints without belts.
97. "Kiss Me, I'm _________" (Insert Nationality Here).
98. Pocket protectors.
99. Enough pens and pencils in your pocket to warrant a pocket protector.
100. Members Only jackets.
101. Sweaters worn over your shoulders, I don’t care if you live on the Upper East Side Biff!
102. Crocs……
103. Painters pants (unless you are a painter)
104. Carpenter pants (unless you are a carpenter)
105. Doo Rags
106. Anything on your head at the dinner table (even if it’s at Denny’s you slug)
107. Sunglasses inside Mr Johnson!

Look who's roll'n in the west........

Nice truck.....
Then it was more work at the Lazy MM.....
Then a little cross action.......(I look forward to posting this picture every year. Almost like I was five waiting for christmas.)

This just in.........

As my Ukraine friend would say “I Love this Country”!!!!

Boy-o or Boy.....

Man my ASS Hurts......I don't know how you people do it!!! Work everyday? Chist all this work is killing me......

Bam....nailed one!!!! on the frontrange and look at that this POS is at a gas pipe.

Well the last Stage Rage went well; Sandy laid the smack down on the pro-field again. Her new name is clean wheel…..The plus is she win the cash and I get to spend it!! I pulled out a 10th, so I’m at peace with my Road season…..The Crit was another thing but I’ll save that.

More work to be done…..I don’t know how you people do it! I need a vacation!

What is up.....with that?

Well it rest time for me....two weeks off the bike. Gives me lots of time to work! Work? what I don't work! Yes, work.......I really don't like to work but in this case I've come around.....putting on an addition to the Cottage so I can move in and work on my manifesto.......So much for rest. Now back to WORK!

This and That

First a little of this.....
Then unload this......
Then load this...... Then off to this.......

Dope and Dopes

The UCI announced Wednesday that it has barred Spaniard Alejandro Valverde, the UCI ProTour champion in 2006, yea whatever……and then While the Vuelta is busy booting Astana and dropping euros for increased controls, the Tour of Misery has the red carpet out for ContaDoper……WTF! Beside will anybody be following the Tour of Misery?

O-yea!!!!

So Danielson to SlipstreamTeam os much for a clean team! Then there’s the boss team director Jonathan Vaughters told the Denver Post on Thursday. "He went to Discovery and got caught up in the whole 'next Lance Armstrong' thing, which he is not. Gee thanks for the compliment Boss!

Much like Van Petegem in the Tour of Flanders Sandy pull a cheeky move to nail the Pro field to the wall and a solid 25 meter win at the Sanpete Classic this weekend……after 70 miles of race there was a break of five. Sutter Home Wines took a filer at the bottom of the last climb with Ivory, Lepton Tea, Vanguard and Sandy chasing. Mid climb Sandy punched it taking the lead for the last mile to the summit. Hoping the drop the other three and make a bridge. But it didn’t happen. At the top of the climb seeing the other on her wheel she dropped her head and said “I’m done” That started an attack by Ivory dropping Sandy and bridging to Lepton…….That’s when they started looking at each other to set up their sprint. Sandy 500meters back saw the games and put into overdrive. Blowing by the “Game Play” with 1k to go and holding for the win…..Quote of the day “I thought you were drop”

Don’t even ask about my race……I’m just happy someone’s winning to pay for my racing!!!


And for the record Her victory salute kick’s the Barons!

Now this is hypocrisy at its best

“Team Rabobank is considering its future without team captains Michael Boogerd, who is retiring at the end of this season, and Michael Rasmussen, who was fired during the Tour de France. Its future may be formed with Alberto Contador.”

Contadoper? WTF!! I’ll bet Rasmussen is PISS’d

I went 12 miles up Four Mile Rd.

But Mom it looks so flat! Went for the Sunlight record last night….felt great, but it looks like it will stand for another day!

So for the past month I’ve been working on what I call the “Fred Theory” Early in the year I was plagued by pissed off House wife’s and Contractors trying to kill me while riding…….when riding up McClure Pass one day I was see cross eyed and noticed that the more erratic I road the more room I got from passing cars….If I staggered around like a drunk on the road people afforded me the space I desired. So from that day when a car/truck is thundering down on me I start the “Fred Theory” and wobble an bobble……..it makes them think I’m out of control……little do they know I really R out of control.

The Man......

A funny thing happen on my way to Starbucks today…..Have Nice day prick!

Lov It

Those Track Guy's (or Gays) really know how to live....

Next up......

The best post race feed it the history of RACING

Then the Road season ending Santa-Fe Satge race......

Then maybe some CROSS till sking starts.........I can't wait then I'll Fat on ice cream and pizza.

My Tech-no Blows JoJo

Phone broke

Computer has a bad power supply

no upload, on download

Whats a guy to do???

I'll tell you what, work on my new digs......

Plumbings in.....Check
Electical in.....Check

Now I just need some new tech shit....


Did the crit over a Copper this weekend. One of the coolest, very "Euro" style thought the village. Drunk'n people smoke’n and yell'n.....There is nothing like suck a lug full of second hand Cigg'y smoke trying to bridge a gap at 9000 feet! Needless to say I puked, the first 90min.s were good but the last 30 sucked………How do you know when you’re suffering in a Crit??? When you look at the Clock every LAP! “Diamond Dave” once said “I think this clock is SLOW”

Check that I did a 60 min and a 50 back to back so it was 110 not 120……….

Sandy got pimp’d for 5th but put the hammer down on the pro’s……..again.

Peace MAN!

So I driven along and this Hippy standing on the corner give me the peace…..I hate the peace sign. Who every said I think I’ll be more peaceful cus some dirt bag that washes in the river flipped up two fingers? No one that who….So I gave him ONE finger back! He looked at me and mouthed the word “Man” (Like I’m “The Man” that held down, turning him into the present day shit bag) and gave my ONE finger back…..I laughed and yelled back “Yea, you should’ve got it right the first time Dirt Bag”……

Making life easier one dirty Rodent at a time! OUT

Kidding are so soft these days

What a light weight.....Only Seven. I need 8 just to get up and pee in the morning!

102 deg

Stuffer in the heat son......Yea but it a dry heat!

This just in.........

I'm 18th in the Yahoo search "the man with world on shoulders" and man is it heavy!

Why is the last'd

Race always the hardest one?

No finger fling today……Dam! Maybe tomorrow. So this weekend was my own personal HELL! It was the State TT and Road Race championships in Gateway. I should have stayed home or when and did the Snowmass Race because I feel like a bag of shit!

Sandy added another State Jersey to her closest……in mine you’ll only find empty hooks. It’s not for a lack of trying, just lack of motor. I smoked myself in the 40k TT and pull’d out a 5th and then had NO motor for the RR. Made if over the first climb in ok shape just cracked like and old egg on the second one out of Whitewater. It’s was like the lights went out! Made the turn out of town an about 4 miles into the climb then my legs fell off……..off I tell you! But by that point the field was blown….I limp it home for 9th. So today I’m hanging out at Starbuck and doing NOTHING!
NOTHING!

The air is cleared NOW!

So if you think ContaDoper is the symbol of the new "clean" peloton, you're either Spanish or really drinking the happy juice.....

Somedays you just what to.......

After a day trying to restore my comment bar and "F"ing around with HTML with out getting off square one. I offer you this......

Step one: Extend either arm at an approximately 90° angle perpendicular to the body.
Step two: Bend arm at the elbow. Position it parallel to the body, forming three sides of a perfect square.
Step three: Close hand tightly.....
Step four: ) Fiercely upturn digit between pointer and ring finger.
And finally: Hold approximately 10 seconds to a minute for emphasis. Sstand up straight and smile!!!

It's all in the numbers

What do Nicole Richie and I have in conmen? We both are obsessed with weight……..Now I’m going to show my Engineer side and love of numbers.

If two riders start up a 6% grade at 12 MPH , rider no. 1 weighting 77kg (Bike and Rider) needs 284 watts will rider no. 2 weighting 73 kg needs 270 watts. No biggy right! Only 14 watts But put a little tilt to that like a 12% hitter and that goes to 528 watts for rider no. 1 and only 501 watts for rider number 2……27 watts now that’s what I’m talk’n about….it’s just a matter of time and no.1 it going to take a number two!!!!

Do it......

Last week it was the …….

72 miler with 10000 plus

This week it this……

Just a short 82 miler with 6500

Someday I’m going to be a fit climber……but for now I’ll just suffer at the back!!!!!

I can’t wait for the Santa Fe Stage race…..that will be a flat 100 miles, Sweet!

Life's a Kick

I’ve come to realize if you can’t make it up the hill, it’s not because your bike sucks it’s because you’re fat & lazy.

So what have I been doing for the last two days? Well I’ve had my head under the hood of my newest truck swearing my ASS off!!!! But it’s done and now it time for fun!!!! So off to the coffee shop I go…..but not after this.

four things make me laugh out loud. A man in a gorilla suit, monkeys smoking, midget tossing and some dirty hippy getting kicked in the nuggets!!!!

Have a nice day!

Have you made the grade?

The List....

I think I saw The Barons name on there somewhere.....

Sporting Denver

The Bum Jump, it's a new NORBA event for 08

Bam.......Nice parking spot DICK!

Get the point???

Why can't anybody just admit it - we don't care if athletes juice?!? Whether it was amphetamines in the 70's, cocaine in the 80's, or steroids and HGH today, athletes have been doped when they take the field for longer than anybody wants to mention. Heck, is it unfair to take painkillers to get past an injury and stay on the field? Why are people so naive and simple-minded.



We like everything juiced up enhanced………get my point?


By the way, did you have to have your coffee this morning? I think you should be put on leave for supplementing with caffeine to get an edge on the day. i don't like coffee, I don't think it's fair that I am sluggish in my 8:30 meetings in the morning when everyone else has unnatural energy. Idiots...Now where is my OJ….????

Fried Dope!

I think the Dpoer Alberto would not have won if The Doper Chicken hadn't helped to pull him further away from Cadel. Without the Chicken he wouldn't have built up the time gaps and may have needed to work more for The Doper Loser Levi. I bet it has gone through Levi's mind a time or two that without the Chicken he could have won the 2007 tour. But all in all I'm so happy the BIG dick Doper Levi didn't win.........Got to love The Doper Chicken!

I'm a 69.5 kg FAT man.....

So, so, so………Starting my 08 diet in 07 nothing but rice and beans for me! After getting shelled at Salida there is only one thing to do! Increase the power to weight ratio….and I don’t think I’ll be add much more power, so there only one thing to do…..lighten the load. Bean and Rice……maybe an apple or two! 65kg or bust!

Anyone not seen the movie Napoleon Dynamite? No one, right? Okay, then everyone understands the reference to Uncle Rico, It's the guy never got over not winning the state football championship in high school because the coach wouldn't let him play quarterback? and shit went down hill from there! Totally delusional, practically living out of his van, no job, no prospects… we ALL recognize him as the buffoon he is, right? So, why is it that when some guy in his early 20's to maybe even late 30's, racing the amateur circuit , rants on about how the guys who are succeeding must be doping, and either outright claiming or at a minimum implying, that if not for everyone ELSE doping, they could've made it in the pros, we don't see them as delusional?

I mean, face it, if you were going to make it in pro cycling, don't you think someone, anyone (other than yourself) would've noticed your talent by the time you were 30?

It's not just that folks want to cast dispersions on top cyclists, fans in all sports do that. Not everyone is a fan of all athletes, regardless of the sport, so it's understandable when someone doesn't like a particular athlete. But, to cast everyone who's better than you a doper or a cheat is nuts. Face it, some folks are better than others at certain things. Pro cyclists aren't better than you (or me) 'cause they dope. They're better 'cause you (and me) aren't that good.

Hint: if you're a cat II, or even a I, who's over 22 and who's been racing more than 3 years and you're not a pro yet, you never will be. Get over it. Accept that the pros are better just because, not because they're doping. (they may be doping, obviously many still are, but that's not why they're better than you). The 12K dream is a nightmare.

Bam.......On LIne! and Nailed One!

As the sign reads......

and this has run to it's MHR! and I've pop'd and off line for now. Maybe some other time.........for right now I'm just rid'n, hang'n and lurk'n........OUT!