The Lazy "M" ranch.....

Spent most of the weekend up in the high country........at the Lazy "M" ranch.
The shack.....

The view......

The new shack site......

News new and more news………

Murder? Com’on he looks so…….Innocent, But we all love “Good Strippers”
Another Wisco scientist…..Thanks Buddy
And then theres this guy.....Think he gets the Brazilian?
Com-on! Tag?
Finding the Irony…. Innocents


I love the world in turmoil……I'm going for a ride right after this Espresso, OUT!

Breaking News.......

http://www.cyclocrossworld.com/News.cfm?Action=Edit&MenuKey=827&theKey=827&back2=home

Cross, Cross, Cross.....

(I've waiting all year to repost this! That's what you call Cross Style "Boyz")

So I’ll be slugging it out at the lowly Eagle-cross this week-end but a crossed the country one of the best match-up of the season Is forming…..Is it Wells vs. Powers? Or Page vs. Johnson? Nope! It’s Gould vs. Bessettle vs. Compton in the women’s field.

Georgia Gould
Lyne Bessette
Katie Compton

I'm saying Compton with an easy win!

I might have to cross train today.....

Check that! I'am cross training.......me and the dog have hung the "Gone Skiing" sign out....right after another shot of expresso. OUT

Called in sick today and did nothing

Well well well.....I think Big Pats found a way to nail Landis. If I were Floyd I'd be at Walmart trying on flackjackets.

And it looks like Gay Boy's been kiss more then trophies.....He's got'm planted on Nanc'y Lancey's backdoor. My god whats the world coming to?

Can you pick out the Ex-WORS great kickass in last weekend Pro-field?

What the world needs is more of this....

In God We Trust!

Time to go west.......

When it’s cold and wet I was told to go west…..into the sweet warn sunshine! I just didn’t count on this….

(Yes thats a brontosaurus)

But a small delay and price to pay for 75deg touring on the 1x1. I still can’t figure out this weather. How can it be 40deg in one place and 75deg.s right around the corner?

I guess I don’t really care it’s just nice to know it’s there.

I’m planning to do some Moto-pacing later in the winter…..

Now I just need a moto.....

O-yea for those that care A-Basin opened today..........Sad news for Loveland. So com'on out for the "white ribbon of death"

Well, well, well......2

I wouldn't say it was too muddy for cross........Just FUN!


I wouldn't say the French are too gay for cycling.......Just too gay for Cross!

It's snowing up in happy valley so all the world is right with the beautiful people of Vail. This was verified with the lack of antidepressants dispended at the Village Starbucks this afternoon.

WTFD

The another dick do’n it proud…..Thanks for make me feel good about my home turf


It’s been rain’n and snowning everyday for the pass week. Should be a great race this weekend, another double header. Breck-tober and Frisco Cross both with beer tents and bands….Sweet! PBR me on every lap.....

Watch out...

What’s worst then getting hit by a car door or getting hit in the FACE?

Nails....

they say it's all about the start.....
Well I punched it through in a stout 51th place out of 102 on Saterday and 9th Sunday...Unlike Sandy Who can pin-it...Two 3rd's and payday!
At the base of the first run up...leading the way. You got to love someone who can punch it to the pro field.

123.....

We’ll I,m back……
I really never went anywhere just got tired of the same old same old!

Got a new race wagon! Ford LN7000 with a Cat 3208 to pull my dozer….sweet!

I’m labeling this guy the ugliest MTB’r in USA cycling right now….Nice Head!

Cross is in full swing girls so you better stay home! OUT!

This just in....

Yes sir!

Got Nothing......

But Boobs always make people pay a Attention...... O-yea there's a State Road Champion in the house!

Learn to Lov’m

I used to hate road races, but this year seems to be a turning point. They’ve been some of my best results. Crits are still fun but some how they are now second place……This weekend it’s the The bad ass out and back Canyon Road race. Upp’n the mileage from 72 last weekends race to 85 and 5000’ of climbing……ouch! Then a slam'n Crit in Fuirta. I'll be willing my leg into recovey! "F" the one races pussies!

I almost forgot. I was in the only Starbucks in the world the plays country western music....Rifle Co. baby! White 1-ton pickups filled with hate......

I've been resting

I need get better at updating or take the Cat3 down grade!

It’s been a little slow around here…..Got a new toy! It’s just a little 24000lb play thing. So I’ve been cutting in the new road up to MM enterprises new digs.
Well the Utah race went ever well thought I had it won with a solo filer but got reeled in with 5 to go, but still held on for 9th. The legs are a little worked. Riding 45miles by yourself with 50 guys gunning will do that. Sandy rode the last of the group off her wheel with 2 to go for a set of clean wheels. Her new name is “The Cash Mech” The race is awesome One big 75 mile loop. It’s on the hit list for next year.

Back to Utah.......

I think I see a small man in there..... Why riding a bike for two is tooo Gayyy!

The cars packed and it's back to Utah, I should just move there....

Make a pick? in the WTF file...

Can you pick out the Man in this photo? He was a Boy in a group of men and know a Man in a group of girls....WTF!
Will the real Tom Boonen please stand up? WTF!

All Crossed up girls.......

Fresh paint, Proto-one of the new "Mr Slim" is just about ready to build. All dress and not an open bar in town.Not even a hooker under a lamp post.......I’m just waiting for a the “F”n fork and it dirt time! You got to love a single gear’d cross bike, disk ready and replace able drops for you pussies that have to have more then “One”….O-yea it's made from BEER cans!

Riding in Utah....

There's one thing about riding in Utah......

Is it Mrs. “T” now? Or just Mr. Moose knuckle……

Kick"N"ass

I’m a believer! I’m almost positive not everything in this stuff is legal, but I don’t care. This stuff will kick ass and any girly supplements that you take! Two tables and get your motor running……

Get your Spike On!

Lock-Out!

I've been locked out from my Blog site for some reason. I’ve got my theory’s but I’ll keep them to myself. It’s just another example of the Man taking to hold me down. Well I’ll tell you what I won’t be denied! I’ve got the coolest cross training course setup and tonight starts the 1st test run. I’m thinking about hosting a Wed night beer race. But you have to love it cross is right around the corner!

O-yea I got a job! Check it out. I get paid with Sex, I thinking this is a career path I can get into……The only problem is there's no 401k Plan just a "KY" plan....

DNF in the last stage of the Tour-De-Dope.....

If I don’t have another day like yesterday it won’t be too soon!

Ups and Downs

Power meters are cool, there's nothing like 2 hours of Crit racing.....

Stage Two......

Talk, Talk, Talk….

What I’m talk’n about is a lot of hurt going on….There’s nothing like a little STXC to make you hurt…at the Tour-De-Dope!

Rich person do the dumbest things, So yesterday I saw something hilarious, you know the kind of stuff that makes you laugh out loud even when your along. A guy maybe in his sixties is riding along on a hybrid dressed in kaki walking shorts and a white button down shirt. Just like you would think a Rich guy would look riding around Vail.Village. But what the hell is so funny about Mitch Man? Well I’ll tell’ya…This guy was wearing a prologue helmet…..First I had to do a double take and then sprayed my Espresso all over the Starbucks patio. I almost pee my pants! WTF…..I guess you can never be to Aero when JPA the village!

DNF

Stage One: DNF…..it’s a good thing this is more of an Omnium then a Stage Race or I’d by out in the cold and with only one participant the “Tour-De-Dope” would have been blown. A rear pinch flat and no tools will put you down…..

Today is a rest day, so I’ll be at the Vail Village Starbucks watching the beautiful people walk by with their designer tote bags in hand.

Lubed....

The bike is washed and loaded, the chain is lubed and I’m off to Stage One in the Tour-De-Dope!

Espresso me, Please

Well, well, wwwwwwhat? I was going to lay low until cross season started up but things come up and you need to be flexible. Some will lay the smack-down this week in a group and or trail ride. Others will lay it on the starting line….I’d stack my riding schedule as one hurt nut sack. Why do training rides when you can Race?

Monday: Rest (And I love to rest, it’s what I do best) and Espresso
Tuesday: Road ride up 4-mile canyon (It’s a nice 11 mile climb with some rolling flats on the top)
Wednesday: Mr. Bigg and I are heading over to Beck for some MTB action.
Thursday: More rest (you can never get enough)
Friday: I’m going to breakout the 9-speed MTB for the 1st time in six months for a little STXC fun.
Saturday: More and more Crit fun……
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday: More racing action…..It’s my fav race, big climbs and smok’n down hills.

I’m packing all my yearly MTB racing in one week…..then I’m laying low till cross season. Well maybe not……

It got to be good...

So what’s your testosterone to epitestosterone ratio? Talk about Annie Get you GUN’s! I wonder what Laura's ratio max’d out at. Maybe she’s getting special blend of “Lipton Tea”

If I where Landis I’d use the “Lipton Tea” defense and have my Jackie Chisels work that angle….. It got to be better then I a skinny weasel and the beer drain me of H20.

It’s nice not having to race some weekends. Got the Cross bike all dialed for the up coming season, just need to get some new skins on it and it’s down. Now I need to get some Mojo and start training for it. Well got to go…I hear an Espresso calling me from Vail Mountain Coffee......or maybe I'll have some tea!

Get'n it....

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted any Chic Pic’s. Well I’ am get’n to it! Enjoy….

Testosterone patch needed!

A punch to the Gut and Nut Sack! That what it was like last night….I havn't MTB over at The Beav’ for a year and forgot how rough the down hills are….Ouch if felt like someone punch me in the gut after each lap. They actually hurt more then the climbs. I only have myself to blame running 35psi. What was I thinking? Now my nut sack needs a “Floyd” testosterone patch.

Maybe if I did that I could lift a car

Back in time with nothing to spare

I’ve been sequestered preparing my case in front of the UCI…..with my high ratios it’s going to be tough.

For a guy who has nothing to do I’ve got know time to do anything. But I’m heading over to Beaver Creek to ride Mr. Bigg in the Vail series….that’s always fun.

Well we may have a fast dope’d up Tour winner but the French are still gay and could get their ratio’s up over a ½ point even with a testosterone patch applied to their ball sack….

Time to wash my bike and put air in the tires..

and I thought I got screwed

Joseba Beloki, Isidro Nozal, Sergio Paulinho, Allan Davis and Alberto Contador have all received a written document officially clearing them of any links to the ongoing "Operación Puerto"

Vino has to be PISS'd......

I'm over it....

Ok, ok…..I was knox’d off the group by a LAPPED teammate in a crit. The pace was hot so it was single file lap after lap and if you missed a wheel, ka-boom you where gone! About half way into it a lapped teammate was trying to grab on and I gave a spot riding a 20th but he kept letting a gap that I had to cover, not once, not twice but three times……witch put me on the rivet. I was so piss’d at the time pushing him into the curb seem like a good option and as luck would have it I couldn’t cover the next one and ka-boom me and about 10 guys got hammered. Yes, I know you should have the skills to cover but some days you just can only do so much work and it was one of those days. It’s just a piss’r. Would I had the wheels to win? No, but I was in for the finish at least…and I'll never let a guy in again.

Lin'n up.....

Lin'n up a Vaction......Scuba Div'n
Lin'n up Mr Bigg......Sweet Vail race
Lin'n up for some rest......

How can someone get so tired doing nothing?

Something.....

Well I guess I should blog something. I’ve really got nothingto say about the tour other then it was very cool to watch unlike one of LA’s marches to Paris.

I just got back from Wisco and Superweek…some great hard racing. I didn’t do great or bad just some good hard rac’n. I only got to do the last 6 races but still had a great time.

New addition to the “I’m a dumb-ass list”

1. Unless you are a chick or doing a triathlon, wear bib shorts
2. Take your race number off your bike...please.
3. When you are wearing a skinsuit there should be no riding around with the top pulled down so you can show off your cool cycling tans, we all have 'em.
4. Guy’s wearing Capri Pants, DON’T do it! It’s super gay….unless you are super gay!
5. Croc Shoes, about the dumbest thing I’ve every seen on a persons foot. Unless there two years old….
   

Yes, these are all things I viewed last week and More race reports later. I need sleep....I'm having a debate if I should blast my team with topics like “How I was taken out by my own team-mate”……"Are two guys a team?" and more but some how I think I'll just keep it to myself.....out

One big pile of.....

Well I would beat a weeks pay that no one from CNN.com has not been to Colorado Springs. If they had it would never had made the top ten maybe the bottom 10. It’s like an over grow Crack House!

As the World go's Round....

Is it cycling news or a police blotter? You decide….

D Clinger was jailed this week on charges of disorderly conduct, harassment, defiant trespass and resisting arrest. I guess he was arrested about 1 am on Monday after a disruption inside Toad Creek Bar, where it is alleged he played a little grab ass with a woman and was harassing other patrons inside the bar. He was also wrestling another chic (I true skinny biker form, picking on chic's B/C a Man woukd kick your biker ass) and fought with police when they tried to handcuff him. Nice!

And then there’s King “T” who pretty much came out and said he's a doper. "I've been riding on my bike for seven hours, I've climbed five cols; tomorrow, there's a stage of 212 kilometres, and after that, a stage of 230 kilometres... I think that's just great," he said sarcastically. "This is scandalous, it's over the top. They are just shouting that they want to fight against doping, but then they give us a program like this," he pretty much said I dope.

And then there’s Levi “I can’t do it clean” Leipheimer. One day he’s getting blown off the road by old ladies on hybrids and the next he’s tearing the legs off guys hammering up the Tourmalet. Hmmmmm…No he didn't see some Dr. Fuentes type or did he?

And then there’s the Der-Fat-boy doping plan…. For the first seven days include a series of hormones, insulin, cortisone, testosterone and blood transfusions. I need to get me some of that…..

Isn't the sport of cycling like a day time soap?

Well, well, well......

Mayo? George? See what happens when you race clean……you get your ass kicked. Levi try it in the TT got leveled. Got back on the dope and now he’s back in the group. He learn he’s lesson. NEVER go off the DOPE!

Well my friend Brent is a jumper. Not one of these fairy filers but a Gelande man. These guys go off a 90m jump with standard alpine gear…..He just got back from summer training in Steamboat…..

Here he is in the winter....
Now that's a Beer drink'n sport!

My tour picks

So now that a week of the tour is done who will win the Yellow, Green and…….

Sorry, Now what was I talking about?

Will race for Beer

Is there anything better then winning beer? Why is it when I raced in beertown you NEVER won beer.....now I win beer all the time. Life is good!

My New Religion

The ever wise J Sager has put forth a theory that I’m a believer in.......“only assholes buy white trucks. I don't care if its a van, a GMC Jimmy, F350 V10 Diesel with deer harvester brush guard, or POS dumptruck...if its painted white, expect hate” I read his theory the another day and put it to the test the last few days. Now I’m a true believer…..

What was this guy driven?


So has anybody seen this Guy? I'm putting out an APB on him....

And one more thing from the WTF file, but whats more fun then a drunken "Midget Karate-Master"

Talk about Dope

This is Dope!

Black and Blue and some Green……

Well I’ve not gotten busted for dopen yet, no 2 year suspension, no lifetime ban, not even a slap on the wrist. It was a mass crit weekend with 3 races in two days and now I’ve got black and blue marks on my legs. You know it’s been a hard racing when you get bruising on your legs and you didn’t crash. Last night I saw a little burse about the size of a quarter on my right quad and today it’s about 4 inches around. Not only on my right quad but my left hamstring. I guess I’ll take the day off the bike….Saturday I pull a 6th in the 35 open (which had to be the hardest race of the year, why do I say that? b/c my max heart rate is 183bpm and my race avg. was 176bpm for the hour with a 15min warm-up.) and a 5th in the Pro1, 2, 3…which I was jacked up about. I’m starting my sprint way early which has been helping. Before I would wait for someone else to jump and whin’d it up with 200m to go. But this time I went at about 750 and it worked pretty well. Yea, two guys got around me 10m’s from the line. But a top five in a pro race I’ll take it……Sandy had her first race back and score a win in the Women’s open. She’s like the cash machine. With her big payday and little payday it was a good’ day mate! Sunday didn’t so well, I did give it an effort but I just kept going backwards and at 45min.s I packed it…Sandy had another good finish, pulling a 4th after get knocked off by some lapped riders at the line.